need gods strength

hey guys .. its been almost a month since i last blog.. been really busy with different things like results, cny celebration n preparation for mission...ya many have complianed tat i didnt update.. sorie guys... ya let mi fill u in on wat happened e 3 wks... e week where i got back my result.. I didnt noe how i felt at first cuz i felt to numb when i saw my result rather i was shock n soo i went ard comforting everyone else except myself i didnt even shed a tear when i got back my result... so during e evening I went for prayer meeting... then i went 2 e alter n i was praying for gods strength then god revealed tat i was esp vvv unhappy with my result instead i was more devasted then anyone else cuz i did well expect 4 math n i work extremely hard tat whole year. i tried really hard to control n hold back my tears i refused to break down but e more e lord showed e more i couldnt control so i juz kneeled at e alter ..it was really painful, i was juz saying ,lord how can u be soo cruel i want to live in denial y dun u juz let me do it, y did u reveal, y did u force me to see it.. so for e past few weeks , many have come along to ask abt my result n abt my plans...seroiusly i dun noe n dun wish to noe.. wana continue to live in denial-- i m too afraid to think--juz holding on to e appeal which is e only hope i have.. still am spiritually a bit down so i haven been meeting tia cuz am afaid she may bring me back to reality... juz wana assure myself tat my armor is vvv tight... ya i will be goin 4 mission 2 weeks later .. am seriosly very afraid..afraid tat i m nt prepared enough.. afraid tat my armor is not tight or secure enough.. afriad tat i will be an hindrance to e mission team bcuz of wat is happening esp with my result n my future.. afriad tat becuz of me my mission team will not be very effective in bringing out e full power which god wants to do... trying to keep up by praying daily for e mission.. juz trying to really catch up with them.. i feel tat i m e weakest among them so i m trying to strengthen myself..really need gods strength in my life. e lord ardy showed me that i m e weakest cuz on sun at ard 11 when i was praying for mission, i juz sensed such a lost in those ppl(segamet n jementah) like they dun noe wat they were doing then i started to picture a sch -- i dun noe n i started picturing ppl commiting sucide n dying then i felt soo afraid that i stop praying at e same time i felt e holy spirit coming so i tried to open my eyes to pray but tat feeling came again so it was ardy half an hour so i stop praying.. then i called vicky to ask wat happen so e devil was using spiritual attack on mi by giving me illusion to stop me from praying...i think i disappointed e lord cuz i gave in to e devil... wat Jfoo said was really true--- its really easy to say tat we wana stamp e devil dwn but when e devil really comes we become vv afriad.. when e devil comes it becomes soo hard to win victory over e devil..its easy to tok but wen it comes to doing it , its hard...... so u guys have to keep me in prayer...

CAMP STEFANOB 2006

WELL felt tat since i have got time to spare i my as well use in wisely ya..... ya so i am going to talk abt CAMP STEFANOB 2006.. ya i known tat was a last yr thing bt i really feel tat i shd testify it . IT was an amazing church camp n it was my third youth chuch camp... the theme of e camp was FREE TO RUN RUN TOP WIN>>>> this theme was taken by PHILIPPIANS3:13-14 which says BUT one thing I do; Forgetting what is behind and strain-ing towards what is ahead,V14 I press on towards e goal to win the prize for which GOD has called me heavenward in CHRIST JESUS. ya so basically it was about forgeting e past n pressing on e future for the GLORY of god.. IT was a4 days 3 nites camp thus it was seperated in three aims first aim>>>attain true victory to find e right direction in our life so there was a pastor from australia who came n preach to us.. HE was quite interesting but tats nt e point god spoke thru him he was juz a vessel used by god to speak to us... so e first serrmon was abt setting goals... so at nite there was another sermon called e POWER TO FORGET.. to forget past hurts ,victories , glories n mistakes n it spoke directly to me n knew it god was speaking to me then there was alter call for ppl who needs prayer for tis aspect n i went n god spoke to me , god revealed things tat were soo painful so painful tat i refuse to open my heart but i gave in n god showed me i told god NO MORE HIDING LORD>>HERE I ASM LORD >> U TAKE IT FROM ME>> I AM WILLING TO LET GO.. Thus e mask which i carried ard was down, my flesh withdrew n my spirit emerged.. tears juz flowed like it hasn't been flowed for a long time , it was soo cruel but i knew god wants me to do it, so aft tat i felt my burden lighter. then e next morin ther was a sermon abt how to bring bk e passion for more of e LORD bk to my life.. N again it spoke to me cuz i have lost it since i left sunday sch(children church) wen i was 12.. there was no alter call but i recieved.. then nite came n there was another sermon abt HOW TO MAKE FAITH GROW and it spoke to me again n there was alter call n i stood waiting/seeking god and FAITH came to pray for me but couldn't penerate my flesh so she said JOAN LET GO... and tears juz flowed again n e holy spirit came n deal with me and i laid on e ground n let god deal with me.. As god was healing me , i was communicating with god i refused to let go of deep hatered ,strong unforgiveness towards my family.. so i quaralled with god holding on to my personal rights then god gave me a verse PHILIPPIANS2:8 and being found in apperarances as a man , he humbled himself and became obedient to death-even death on a cross.. so i juz said LORD U TAKE IT FROM ME.. But i still sturggled to give so e more resist e more i cried n e more i scremed n i knew god was working slowly then aft tat i got up it was only then i relise tat god dealt with mi for abt 1 1/2-2 hrs. so i asked someone why i kept screaming once a while then i relise tat my spirit was yelling n each time i did tat i gave it to GOD... so tat was juz e begining of e healing process there was more to come.. so e next morin it was a talk abt inner healing n i recieved again as god spoke to me both thru ps nerina n thru e alter call so i recieved again.. then there was a afternnon sermon abt i oso nty sure cuz i miss half of it as i had to acompany my sis 2 e sinseh.. then e nxt day was e last day n they talk abt being a salt to e world.. so i learnt ,recieved alot thru this camp.. Therefore I RAN N I WON E RACE>>> OH I 4got note for e devil/satan>> U SHALL NV BE ABLE TO PUT ANYMORE LIES TO MY MIND ANYMORE IF anyone is interested in going for e camp there is another camp comming at ard june n dec or nov. so u can contact mi ya

hi back again aft 3 yrs

hi , it looks like its been THREE years since i last blog.... ya totally 4got abt it till my fren mention it.. Well looking at tis blog again reminds me of thousands or even millions of memorises of e past... well many thiongs have been going on in my life.. LIfe changing experience since mid of last yr so nw I m indeed a new creation juz like wat e word of life states in 2cor5:17 says Therefore , if anyone is in christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone,the new creation has come.. ya so nw i m in harvester Community centre its a church btw.. N i am really growing well spirtually there n im indeed extremely glad tat god called mi out of egypt into e promised land.. Let me tell u wat happen ya its juz tat last yr i was spirtually vvvvvvvvv down n i was juz like a non-christian so god spoke to me n i decided to change church n its a really totally amazing thing.. God is such a wonderful god n i reallly change alot n all these credits belong to God , my refuge, my redeemer, e love of my life , my shelter n my stronghold , e reason i live.. if u want to really known what really happen come ask me personally n u will indeed be AMAZED how god works tat even we human cant understand for it says in 1cor1:25 says For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom , and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength. I am revialing tis blog to testify wat god has done in my life n to let n be accountable to e ppl ard mi in e past ,present n future wheather in sch , in Marine parade christian church, Harvester cc n even campus mates in e future..

hihhi jus setup a tagboard , itz @ e bottom of mi blog.remember muz tag mi k. thankzzz yah itz been like 1 month since i left sedili , 1 month pazz juz like tat......so fast rite.have this feeling that i juz came back from sedili last week.jus got my brother's add, hope tat he is not angry anymore...oso in 2 weekz time the gatez of hell is opening...juz not ready to go to hell.......... i know that i muz work really hard 4 mi N levels . i wanna work harder ten those N level ppl cause i m slower than others.yah my jie said that prom wasnt tat nice as my wonderful father disrupted everything.nw she is working in suntect as a salesgal.. she likes her job .... jus feeling really happi 4 her.recently found out wat i treasured most , did alot of soulsearching & reflection bout this year and bout myself.nw i shall end here or else i would sound like a grandma... k c u in skool in jan ...bye

hai........................

hi, juz came back from camp a week ago, feeling so down cause i miss sedili . let mi tell u e storyk on 5th nov--- we set off for sedili which is at the town kota tinggi which is located @ johor.we sat e bus 170 2 causeway and sat a bus to kota tinggi and sat bus 300 to sedili and took a boat there. we reached there bout 3.00 and we unpacked. the ppl who were with mi are salvaraj, suresh, rajes, jess,zhenyi, ranuka and lastly that stupid nisha. adults--- tata,adurey and sr joy.we met mr (dun wish to release his name) and his son .well tell u some his bout e island , e island was bought by his grandparents ( i think so only ah) so he owns e island lah, 4 ur infor its filled with ppl and those ppl are so poor thing but they are really happy and the mosque has a very nice design quite grand lah.. so nightfall came and tata told us to sleep @ e jetty so quite dangerous so if not careful, u will end up in e water. i learn 1 thing there which is the enviroment do not adapt to you, while you have to adapt to the enviroment and enjoy it ,feel nature around you. tell u something @ nite rite , jess snoor really loud i woke many of us up, we thought that it was a frog. second day--- the second day, jess told me something but i didnt care much untill i heard a rumour . anyway i made some one my brother but........ so we went to the waterfall but i didn't enjoy much cause of e rumour luckily suresh and salvaraj didn't belive so at nite, i saw nisha intears and i asked her what happened and she told me. there were so many ppl aganist her and i know she felt really hurt so i scolded all the ppl who talk bad bout her, after e campfire and approarch him and told him bout e rumour and he was really shocked but as a sister, i had to keep calm and show him i was not afraid but i was. so when we were asleep, he told zhenyi that he want to break off brotherhood ties with mi. last day -- pack up and left at that time i felt like crying thought the day before, i felt like going back.i felt sad cause i dun noe when i will ever see my brother again. then when we reach celmenti, i found out that it was nisha who spread the rumour at that time and it really hurt as i defended her, helped her, stayed by her side strongly and she did this to me and he wanted to break brotherhood ties with mi was another big blow to me. i could not take it and i cried its jus so hurting and it happens most of the time. when you are good to them, they take advantage of you . now i really miss sedili and my ex- brother

hai........................

sorry 4 got 1 thing i pray and hope that he remembers this sentence not your house, not your land. hope that 10 yrs down e road i can change it to not your house , but your land.

study study study

hi todae mi didnt go skool ask mi y? cause sick ma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no lah i actually never sick , jus wanna stay @ home to study more. shh!!!!!!!!!!!!! k dun tell any1 k. todae i did lots of study , well i studied ss 3 chpt , phy (work, speed, dynamics,moments and math . now still doing math later do bio, den watch tv . jus so anxious bout e final year hope tat i can gt B3 for my science and B4 4 hum . gt E7 for math , C5 for eng, C6 ch, C6 fnn. hope i dun retian

friendship POEM

hi nw im goin to type a very nice poem hope u ppl will like it k each of us has a hidden place somewhere deep within ourselves A place where we go to get away to think things through to be alone , to be ourselves this unique place,where we confront our deepest feelings Becomes a storehouse for all our hopes, all our needs , all our dreams, and even our unspoken fears . it compasses the essence of who we are &what we want to be But now & then whether by chance or design , someone discovers a way into that place we thought was ours alone, And we allow that person to see ,to feel & to share All the reason , all the uncertainty And all the emontions we've stored up there That person adds new perspective to our hidden realm Then quietly settles down in his own corner of our special place Where a bit of himself will stay 4 eva And we call that person a friend

past camp

hi,k nw im goin 2 tok bout e sec3 camp which was like sigh!!!!!!! k let mi start k i m in 3d and during the dec holiday lasy yr we came back 4 our camp meeting and iwas suppose to do a stupid skit on the theme 'camp exaculibur' our class group was garreth . so we wrote our story but it was alway rejected so there was 1 time which i made a mistake by thinking that instructor jesmine said that the skit was approved which was not so we had a big borhaha on this subject and the whole class pint point @ miwithout thinking i was so shock that i didn't noe wat 2 say. but it was sigh!!!!!!!. we had two instructor and 3 camp leaders . one of the instructor was so proud lor like a stupid peacock the same and i hated her. till nw i still hate her!!! there was 1 camp leader which i oso hated she was so arrogant thought that she was so big kept telling tales bout us can !!!!! pls lah 4 god-sick !!!but during the camp it was nice and tha food was so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yummy and many ppl could nt finish their food so i help them eat lor!!!!!!!!.den aftere campfire, i lost my voice and something happen which i dun want 2 say quite stupid actually and i changed my views bout the other instructor